There’s your angel, a ball of fluff, whiskers, and claws curled up with her little head resting on her paws, eyes closed as she naps for what you’re sure is the one hundredth time today. You walk over and sit down as gently as you can beside her. As you reach out to pet your fur baby, she stirs awake. She stands up, does the well-known cat stretch, jumps to the floor and walks right out of the room without a second glance. You sit there alone, once again left wondering how to get your kitty to love you back.
If the situation you read above is one that you have experienced many times before, then you’ve come to the right place for some help building a better relationship with your stubborn cat! Your major goal should be to get your kitty to choose to come to you instead of you always chasing her, she needs to think that interaction is her own idea and that it is self-rewarding. The following steps tell you just how to do it!
The first step is to understand that your kitty is a not a human or a dog, but she is a cat, and not only is she a cat, but she is also her own cat with her own beautiful personality. This means that she loves to hunt and explore like all cats, but she also has her own quirks that are there for you to learn to love, even though it may be tough in the beginning. Once you understand and accept this, you’ll already be making a better impression on her.
The second step to getting your kitty to come to you is to create a cat friendly environment, or if you believe you have one already, improve it! Make sure your cat has posts to scratch, ledges to perch on, tunnels to explore, and cat grass and catnip to keep her busy. This will let her know that the house is her home and that it is a place to feel safe and confident alongside you.
The last step is to put yourself into her daily life by becoming someone fun, someone to hunt and play with. Start by playing with her before at least one meal every day. Doing this puts you in a great position in her eyes and also helps her keep up with her natural cycle of hunt, catch, kill, eat, groom, and sleep, which will then make her much more of a happy kitty.
Another technique to use alongside the three steps above to help you become someone that your kitty wants to spend time with is to train her! Sit, down, shake, and target training are some fun and easy tricks to teach that work your cat’s mind and builds your bond by using food and praise.
If you still find that she won’t approach you even after a couple of weeks, you can really dig in to cat language and try “slow blinking” at her. It’s exactly how it sounds, just look at her and slowly close and open your eyes. The “slow blink” is a sign of respect and love between cats and this may just convince her to let you give her some attention.
To perfect all of your hard work you should remember that once your kitty comes to and you get to give her some affection, you must make sure you pet her how she likes to be pet and don’t try to cuddle and kiss her. Your cat most likely dislikes that overbearing love and doing so will ruin how far you’ve come because she won’t see you as comfort and safety anymore and won’t want to come to you. Also, once you figure out what your kitty really loves, enhance it and make it something you two can do together to bond over. This could be anything like playing with a specific toy, petting a specific spot on her, watching the birds outside or laying sprawled out on the couch. The more you dig in to her cat world, the more she will love you back.
None of these steps or advice are extremely difficult to do but the results come slowly and take patience, self-control, and diligence. With the hard work that I am sure any cat lover is more than willing to put in, you will finally see the love a cat can give and you will have a truly wonderful relationship with your angel.